ashe dryden

Life Goal #17

Stop being afraid to try something new. Try new things every chance I get.

Awww, love

Boonis: well that's good
at least I still have some redeemable value : D
me: i could also dehydrate you and sell you for your composite chemicals. thats about 47cents in value
Boonis: well you'd have to effectively kill me first, which takes a lot of planning, so I know I at least have a few months

Life goal #16

Build up a large savings to pay for my children to go to college.

Life Goal #15

Read two books a month.

Life goal #14

Be concious of everything I say. Don’t say something if I don’t mean it and am willing...

Life Goal #13

Stop procrastinating!

Coworker: We are out of towels in the men's bathroom.
Me: And you are telling me this because you're worried I'll go to the bathroom in there, go to wash my hands, and have no towels with which to dry my dainty little girl hands?
Coworker: Good point. Maybe you should spend some more time in there.
Me: Are you propositioning me for something inappropriate? I only do inappropriate things off the clock and not with coworkers.
Coworker: Just saying. Take a walk on the wild side.
Me: How 'bout you take a walk outta my office so I can get some work done?

Let's not play the Sesame Street Letter...

Me: Are you the U driver?
Coworker: No, I am V. As in voluptuous.
Me: V as in Venereal Disease? I dunno if you wanna play that game :}
Coworker: I just don't wanna play it with you.
Me: I don't blame you.

Life goal #12

Appreciate art more often. Go to museums, concerts, and gallery nights more regularly.

Life goal #11

Get better at public speaking.

You guys wanna see the horror movie I'm...

me: ugh
me: i feel like im gonna be sick
me: and there isnt anything in my stomach ><
me: i feel hollow
Boonis: "Hollow Ashe: She'll eat your soul in order to be full again"
Boonis: It's a new horror movie
me: UR SOUL, IT HAZ A FLAVR NOM NOM NOM

My robot logic is irrefutable.

me: its called get a robot
me: and! bonus! theyre totally cute
Jordan: i don't know if that's always true...i think you have this girly version of robots
Jordan: robots can be scary
Jordan: (sorry if i insulted robots)
me: transformers are robots and are totally not girly
Jordan: they're also from the 80s and some of them are pretty girly
me: youre just upset that you cant play a cassette tape in your chest
Jordan: yes, this does upset me
me: i knew it. its okay to have robot envy, jordan. it gets the best of us
Jordan: haha. but i want to feel, ashe. and robots don't feel. and i don't mean ... physically
me: lol. you can be programmed to feel
me: i have a sneaking suspicion that teddy ruxben could feel.
Jordan: but then you are not doing the feeling
me: says you. our brains are programmed to feel certain ways when something happens
Jordan: yes
Jordan: i better not admit to certain things
me: >.>
me: i dont know what that means
Jordan: well it comes down to free will and i like it or at least my perception of it
me: ::nod::
Jordan: but then again... this could all be programmed /sigh
me: seeeeee

Life goal #10

Cook everything from scratch.

Life goal #9

Walk or use my bike more than my car.

Life goal #8

Get over my fear of drowning and swim more often.

Life goal #7

Start taking Spanish lessons again to become fluent.

Life goal #6

Cover the walls of my home with art made by local artists.

Life goal #5

Start a non-profit and change people’s lives for the better.

Life goal #4

Have a career doing something I love.

Life goal #3

Have my own garden and eat fresh fruit and vegetables from it year round.

Roomba: special edition

Me: I named his roomba Bowie because it's androgenous
Lyndzi: why don't you call it Ziggy Stardust, then?
Matt: it has to be silver and spit out glitter instead of vacuum things up.

Life goal #2

Travel the world for a year, spending time with the people of each country to integrate into the...

Life goal #1

See the aurora borealis.

Bike movies?

Jordan: did we decide what we're watching?
me: matt wants to watch bike movies, but i really dont want to watch bike movies. i want something with a plot.
Jordan: some bike movies have plot. methinks
me: bike movie plot - something bad happens, guy gets on bike, pedals, strife is overcome, pedals into sunset
Jordan: but i only think i've seen one bike movie and it was set in the 80's.
Jordan: hehe well. i don't know how we're going to solve this
me: easily. i go "i dont wanna watch a bike mooooovie ::whine::"
Jordan: but i don't think that proposes any solutions like... "let's watch a period bike movie set in medieval england"
Jordan: then everyone would enjoy!
me: sounds good to me
Jordan: i guess i know what i'll be filming today

This is how being gay feels...

notemily: lady88: I was in a meeting at work and someone asked if me if I was married…I answered...

Me: [looking at my cat Murray while making plastic yarn] This is killing him. He just keeps thinking "oh man, mom! I could be EATING that."
Boone: He thinks that about everything. Everything is edible.
Me: More like "Will this fit in my mouth?"
Boone: Well, yeah, that is his definition of edible.
Me: "OH MANS THIS IS THE MOST DELICIOUS WORLD I HAVE EVER LIVED IN"

It could be worse.

Coworker: What's that, Ashe?
Me: Oh nothing. I was just making fun of you.
Coworker. That's cool.
Me: Good, because I don't intend to stop.
Coworker: Nice.
Me: But isn't it better that I do it to your face? I mean, I'm honest about being a snarkaholic.
Coworker: True. We have a nice relationship like that.

notemily: girlinboyland: frothyparadise: (via...