ashe dryden

notemily:

pissandmildew:

"i dont eat vegetables. i think they make men...

"Pope Benedict XVI has suggested that the...

“i dont eat vegetables. i think they make men like other men....”
— What are some fast and easy...

“Pope Benedict XVI has suggested that the need to save...”
— BBC NEWS | World | Europe |...

notemily: awww. via Hair On The Brain

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PLASTICA: Bento Box

PLASTICA: Bento Box

via www.kinseyconfidential.org

pissandmildew:

pissandmildew:

pissandmildew: (via erickd)

pissandmildew: suddenly: brigno: They are good for...

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A Map of the Lands of Human Sexuality

(Image)

On Eating People and Obama's new...

Ashe: soylent green is people
and oh so tasty
Eli: I think most sitcoms could benefit from adding a cannibal pirate character
Ashe: every circle of friends needs one
think of all of the horrible puns you could make with THAT one
Eli: I just liked the fact that you were going to eat a coworker
as if it was business as usual at your workplace
Ashe: well, we figure its more humane than laying them off and them having to go home to their downtrodden families
Eli: true
Ashe: this way they get "accidental death or dismemberment" benefits from work
so really, its a public service
tasty tasty public service
Eli: good news: you aren't being laid off, bad news: you are getting a visit from "Carrion Beard", the cannibal pirate
Ashe: i think this may be the best way to boost the economy
fewer people in available work force = better job to worker ratio
more money to go around
fewer people to feed
i think Obama should hire me as his economic advisor
Eli: $100M for cannibal pirates in latest Detroit bailout packages, I hear
Ashe: and they didnt fly there on their own private jets. they threatened to eat anyone that wouldnt give them a ride there for free.
someone say carpool?
kids in schools arent emo or hipsters anymore, they wanna be cannibals
its all the rage
cannibal barbie, comes with her own A1 sauce
Eli: I wonder if I could write a script that games change.gov and gets a suggestion to introduce a cannibal pirate based economic plan voted to the top of their agenda
somehow I'm guessing that a) it would be somewhat complicated and b) would result in the Secret Service paying me a visit
Ashe: but you always wanted a picture with them having you in a headlock
so two dreams come true at once
Eli: true

via...

I have been watching House WAY too much

me: fake it till you make it!
Matt: your mom
me: your mom fakes it?
Jordan: i agree with ashley's statement
me: TMI
ew ew ew
: :shakes her head::
just realised the implications of my last statement
your mom fakes it....how would he know that his mom fakes it...BRAIN EXPLODE....EWWWWW
i have obviously had this headache too long
differential diagnosis on headache that turns you into a 13 year old boy?
Matt: Oh. Differential diagnosis. Tumor.
me: :{
Jordan: ITS NOT LUPUS!
Matt: MIDNIT
me: its NEVER lupus
they always say lupus
Matt: err, MIDNIGT or something
now if we could only find an H
Jordan: so confused!
me: thats the anagram
or whatever
CMON JORDAN
Matt: Infection, Disease, Neurological, Infection, Gsomething, Tumor.
me: youve been watching this so much longer than me
Jordan: yeah, i sort of remember it
but not really
Matt: There shuold be like, parasite and stuff in there
me: psh
YOURE the one with the tumor

For more than fun and profit

Boonis: you're so smart
Ashe: i know. guess its good that you keep me around
Boonis: Indeed. Always makes me rethink that offer to sell you into slavery.
Ashe: well thats good i guess

“I am alive I am alive and that is the best that i can do ...”
— Dress me like a clown, Margot...

Lap sitting

Ashe: -Matt: say, that korporate media party is tonight and it sure sounds swell.
-Matt: would you drive me there?
-Ashe: ::giggles:: of course
-Ashe: gonna be a packed car
-Ashe: i hope jason doesnt need a ride
-Matt: Boone can sit on my lap
-Matt: I don't mind.
-Ashe: thats not awkward of anything :}
-Ashe: no
-Ashe: there are enough seats and belts for everyone
-Matt: ok
Boone: haha nice
Ashe: lol
Boone: -Boone: I'm the dominant one. You sit in MY lap, bitch.
-Matt: bitch I'd crush yo face
-Boone: Whatever ho-bag. I crush your mom's face
Ashe: you guys just both sent me that at the same time.
Ashe: im happy for you guys, i hope you can be happy together. can i be the maid of honor?
Boone: you'll be the maid-in-the-middle of honor
Boone: HIYO!
Ashe: WHOA
Ashe: wow
Ashe: just
Ashe: wow
Boone: that was quick
Boone: I like that one
Boone: it was good
Ashe: -Boone: HIYO!
-Ashe: WHOA
-Jordan: wayo!
Boone: hehe
Ashe: you boys

Translation, plz.

ashe: what does this mean? [09:02] Matt: <3+++
Jordan: he loves you +++
ashe: aww awesome
ashe: i thought it was some 1337 term i didnt know
Jordan: or it's an ice cream cone with a candle on it
ashe: lol nice
ashe: i want one

I

Ashe: ROBOT PLONK
Ashe: i can haz plonk :/
Matt: now is not plonk mode
Matt: NOW IS EDITING MODE
Ashe: NOW IS YOUR MOM

Cats with berets and bags of money

Jordan: most designer guys have cats
Jordan: it's now apparent to me why i'm not a good designer
Ashe: whatever, jordan
Ashe: im gonna get you a stuffed cat
Ashe: with a pretentious look on its face
Ashe: and a beret
Jordan: which i will proceed to throw off my balcony
Ashe: nice
Jordan: land on your feet, bitch
Jordan: muhahaha
Ashe: i guess i wont give you that bag of money, then either
Ashe: seeing as how you treat presents from me
Jordan: awww
Ashe: youre horrible
Ashe: horrible i say
Jordan: i know
Jordan: i'm sorry
Ashe: no youre not
Ashe: dont lie
Jordan: i like to be horrible at least once a week
Ashe: put a big red x on your calendar for today, then
Jordan: definitely