ashe dryden

2009

June 29
May 26
April 22
March 27
January 46

2008

June 7
May 4
April
March 2
January 62

2007

October 1140
September 204
August
July
June
May
April
March
February
January

Human remains: swiferable?

jordan: glad to see that you're still alive
ashe: yeah
ashe: or not zombified
ashe: or not all explodey
ashe: thatd be hard to clean from your old apt :/
matty: yeah they'd definitely dock my security deposit for that
ashe: id imagine :}
*matty always forgets to ask to make sure no one has ever esploded in apartment before signing a lease >.<
matty: or spontaneously combusted
jordan: spontaneous combustion is actually pretty clean
ashe: and you know this because youve witnessed it firsthand?
matty: Have you smelled burning human before?
jordan: i read a lot
matty: I don't think they can just swiffer that shit out.
jordan: sure they can
jordan: usually only the human is burned
Oct 29th
littletinyfish: whatson:cakeface: via data.tumblr.com
Oct 27th

Phone and IM simultaneocast

Gabe: I"m calling you.
Gabe: I'm hanging up on you.
Ashe: im cursing and flipping you offf
Ashe: so i guess we're even
Oct 27th

Why do I never see these things coming?

Jordan: i think that's completely wrong
Jordan: but that's just my stance
Ashe: i think your mom is completely wrong
Jordan: and yours is oh so right
Ashe: OH MY LORD
Ashe: why didnt i see that coming?
Ashe: ><
Jordan: win!
Oct 23rd

My very own Mac Switch commercial

Ashe: so last night I bought a macbookpro
Jenn: one of the new ones?
Ashe: yeah, absolutely loving it. Super light and fast.
Jenn: first mac?
Ashe: yeahp, have always had pcs my whole life; only win/linux. It's weird.
Jenn: you should do one of those switch ads, one of the old ones
Ashe: that would be hilarious; I'd have to think up some weird analogy that people would relate me to though
Jenn: well you just did that sex talk, you could do it on that
Ashe: haha, oh all of the inappropriate places THAT could go
Jenn: "Having a PC was like sleeping with a dude with a little penis. What's the point?"
Ashe: no no: "Owning a PC was like having sex and right before orgasm - BLUE SCREEN OF DEATH."
Jenn: you could make some parallel between viruses and STDs, too
Ashe: BRILLIANT.
Oct 17th

Monocle vs. Tentacle

Ashe: so i dunno if the bank acct that has my lappy money in it has an activated card
Jordan: activate that shit!
Ashe: so my options are:
Ashe: take out a billions of dollars and pay in cash
Ashe: orrrr hope to get to the bank before it's closed
Jordan: hmm
Jordan: not sure which is best
Ashe: i dont feel safe carrying around that much money
Ashe: so if it isnt open, ill get monies, i guess
Jordan: gotcha
Ashe: and ill ask them for a tan sack with a big dollar sign on the outside to carry it in
Jordan: muhahah
Ashe: and maybe ask if I can get a monocle, too
Jordan: i may be scared tonight...
Ashe: why?
Jordan: a monocle?
Ashe: i didnt say a tentacle, djordan
Ashe: jeeeez
Ashe: coulda been WAY worse
Oct 16th

1. buy a mac 2. become the wicked witch...

Ashe: so anything crazy i need to know before switching over?
Jordan: crazy?
Ashe: yeah, i dunno
Ashe: im a mac newb, djordy
Ashe: (i dont think i like djordy as much as djordan)
Jordan: i think you've been around us enough to catch on to most stuff
Ashe: i dunnnno
Ashe: i dont want you guys to be all ashamed of me n stuff
Ashe: youll be like "that ashe girl is messed up!" and ill be all "pish posh! its your mac-wizardy!"
Ashe: and then ill cry a little
Ashe: and matty will push me down and youll kick sand in my eyes
Ashe: and then ill cry some more
Ashe: itll be really sad
Jordan: just use quicksilver
Jordan: and be happy mon
Jordan: i'm sure that you'll get the hang of it quickly
Jordan: and then start being better than us
Jordan: and then we'll be like "why'd we ever let ashe get a mac"
Ashe: bwahahahaa
Ashe: and then ill be an evil sycophant
Ashe: and live in a tower
Ashe: and wear a crazy robe and have a little hunchback guy do my biding
Jordan: oh my
Jordan: this i have to see
Ashe: so now you want me to be evil, is what youre saying?
Ashe: ill have to dye my hair black
Ashe: and live in the shadows
Jordan: ooh boy
Ashe: which means ill have to adopt you guys' sleeping patterns
Ashe: and then when people catch me doing something wrong ill have to hiss
Jordan: haha
Oct 14th

Cook me some fishes, kthnxbai

Ashe: oh, we have fish in the freezer, too
Ashe: thatd be good broiled
Ashe: since we have a broiler now :}
Boonis: we do?
Ashe: mhm
Ashe: its in the freezer
Ashe: in a bag
Boonis: No, I mean we have a broiler. I know we have fish. You mention like every third time the word food gets brought up in reference to what's at the house
Ashe: broiler, yes
Ashe: under stove
Ashe: :points and grunts::
Boonis: meat!
Boonis: COOK!
Ashe: ungh ungh!
Oct 13th

Bonfires

Ashe: i love bonfires
Ashe: cant really do em in the city though
Ashe: they frown on that
Matt: yuh
Matt: needs moar michigan
Oct 8th

I think you mean "organizational...

Coworker: Oh! "Organizational Announcement" email from Corporate. I wonder who got canned?
Me: Hmmph. I didn't get one.
Coworker: The "To:" field says all.
Me: Weird.
Coworker: Maybe you're the one that is going to be "pursuing other interests".
Me: Thanks.
Oct 7th

(butt jokes)

Matty: (also I forgot to say that the two girls in the pizza place made me think Coffeeshop of Doom, don't ask why. They were cute though)
Matty: (you're probably asleep tho)
Ashe: (dora & penelope?)
Ashe: (nope, not comatose)
Matty: (oh noes we're trapped in parens again)
Ashe: (ohs noes. ::attempts to break free::)
Matty: (or according to Beckles when I do this in #ectomo I'm talking from inside buttcheeks)
Matty: (she's british though so it must be a british thing..)
Ashe: (ew)
Ashe: (the british like butt jokes?)
Ashe: (who knew?)
Oct 6th

That faux hawk is hot.

Matt: Jordan's massive fauxhawk on the left side of the table
Ashe: Jordan needs to bring back the faux hawk
Matt: yeah
Matt: possibly with epoxy
Matt: permahawk
Ashe: yessss
Oct 3rd